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Doing the Right Thing--Even When Her Job Was At Stake
By: Joe DiSabatino
Here's a true story I'd like to share about doing the right
thing--even when her job was at stake.
Her name is M. and she is an attorney who manages the legal
department of an insurance company. As my coaching client I
supported her through a really challenging ethical dilemma with
her boss. She had finished giving her annual performance
evaluations to her small team, two of whom received the highest
marks. Their annual salary increments were based on these
ratings.
M's boss meanwhile was on a new track regarding performance
evaluations. He felt that the trend in recent years was to for
managers to be too generous. He wanted stricter accountability
in certain areas and this meant lower ratings in general.
So he called her into his office one day and told her that he
disagreed with one of the two highest ratings she had given. He
wanted her to lower her evaluation for this individual.
M. genuinely respected her boss but felt that he was mistaken in
this case. She really believed that the person to whom she had
given the excellent rating deserved it. She thought it would be
unfair and potentially very damaging to his morale and
commitment to the job if his evaluation was lowered. So what to
do?
M. had impressed me from the beginning of our coaching
engagement with her deep connection to her spiritual values and
how she tried to use them as guides in her work. She was nearing
retirement age and was working on a Master's degree in pastoral
counseling, something she looked forward to doing at her church
when her lawyer-ing days were over.
So after informing her boss that she didn't want to change the
evaluation rating of her direct report and why, he continued to
pressure her to do just that. They had several conversations
that didn't create a win-win resolution.
We discussed her feelings, thoughts and options in a couple of
coaching sessions. M. felt very strongly about her position and
even concluded that, if push came to shove, she was willing to
risk her job rather than back down on the issue. In fact, during
one of our sessions, she was convinced her boss would fire her.
Fortunately for her, she was in a financial position where she
could take an early retirement.
Would she have taken the same strong position on her value of
fairness and honesty if she was at an earlier stage of her
career? What if she had a young family to support--how would
that have affected her willingness to compromise with her boss?
Let's face it, circumstances do play a role in how far we are
willing to go to do the right thing. I guess everyone's
conscience operates differently, so there really isn't any one
"right" moral course of action in so many of the situations we
face. We take everything into account--our values, our feelings,
our needs, the needs of others who rely on us -and then we make
the best ethical or moral decision we can. And that's not always
easy!
In a coaching session, we worked through the steps listed in the
"Tips" section below. M. decided to stick to her guns and to let
the chips fall where they may. Doing so had an interesting
effect on her boss. He stopped trying to persuade her to lower
the evaluation. Instead, he took full responsibility for his
decision by lowering the evaluation himself and telling the
employee that it was his decision. He prepared M. for what he
was going to do and she had time to think it over before the
three of them met together. She decided that, even though she
disagreed with what he was doing, she could live with it as long
as the employee knew where she stood.
During the meeting her boss took the high road and made it
completely clear that the lowering of the evaluation was totally
his choice and he gave M. the opportunity to state her position.
The consequence of this was that her relationship with the
employee remained solid and M. felt good about herself for
taking a stand on one of her core values. Her respect for her
boss increased because of the way he handled the situation in
the end. The employee wasn't happy, but his feelings were
balanced out some by the show of integrity from both superiors,
she found out later.
Notice how M.'s taking the moral high road influenced both her
boss and her direct report to do the same. Instead of initiating
a nasty grievance process or resigning, her employee dealt with
his setback in-house rather than going outside for help or
leaving.
This story strongly illustrates the ripple effect of putting
trust and integrity principles into practice at a high level.
When one person does this, it seems to turn on a light for
others, and that's really beautiful to behold. It's so easy to
take our cues from others, after all we're social animals. But
then someone comes along who takes their cues from somewhere
else, from a place deep inside and we call that special place by
so many different names. So when a courageous person does this,
then we are all reminded that we have that place inside too, and
we start to dare to live from there once again. I want to
encourage you to be that courageous person.
If you are struggling with an ethical dilemma at work, and
aren't sure how to move forward, email or call me, and I'll be
glad to discuss the situation with you.
Tips for Doing the Right Thing When Facing a Tough Ethical
Choice:
* Take your time. Before making a tough ethical decision at
work, take the time to identify the core value you feel is in
danger of being compromised in the situation. * What are your
needs? Once you identify your core value at play, clarify your
needs in the situation. For instance, M. needed to act with
fairness and honesty, to maintain her direct report's high
morale and commitment, and to continue her good working
relationship with him. * Look for the third alternative. What
are your options for getting these needs met? This can be
tricky, because if strong emotions come into play, which they
often do, it's human nature to narrow down our options to one or
two courses of action, usually the ones at either extreme such
as giving in or getting out. There may be a third alternative
you just can't see yet for meeting your integrity needs. In M's
case, the third alternative presented itself after she drew her
line in the sand. I've seen that happen a lot. When you take a
strong stand, the other person stops trying to change your
thinking and changes their own instead. * Wait and see.
Sometimes, if possible, doing nothing is the best response to
pressure to do something that feels unethical or against your
conscience. The person applying the pressure just stops after a
while, often because they regained their emotional balance.
About the author:
Joe DiSabatino helps leaders and organizations reach their goals
by creating high-trust work environments. For more support and
information about the importance of trust and integrity in
business, visit: www.phoenixleadership.com
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